Tuesday, July 27, 2004

If I should slip, will they catch me, or watch me fall
 
I'm having one of those weeks again.  I'm reading the book 'Steps to Relevance' and I just hit one of those moments that I'm sure God is speaking to me.  The author explained that when Jesus came to his disciples the threw down their nets and followed Him.  The author goes on to explain that sometimes it isn't the negative that keeps us from God, but the positive.  The nets were a means of life and identity for the disciples.  They willingly gave that up without question when Jesus asked them to.  How often do we fall into the trap of letting our lives, our jobs, our identities get in the way of God.  I'm desparately searching for my calling and what God wants me to do.  I keep trying to pigeon hole it into radio or computers though.  I HAVE to accept the possibility that God will use me in another way if I want to go to the next step.  I can say that I want that to happen, but can I live it?
 
I so desparately want a job that I can enjoy going to each day.  I don't like hating the job I have.  Whenever I hear someone whose really where God wants them to be talk, they are filled with happiness and peace.  I know that no matter what they face on a daily basis, they like what they are doing.  I want the same.  I may not be ready.  I may never actually get there, God may have another road for me to travel.  I just wish I knew which way I was supposed to be going.