Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Thanks that was fun. . .don't forget. . .no regrets

Well I think I'm going to have fun with the picture feature for this blog. I do apologize if the picture is a bit too cheesy.

Why is it I am so afraid to move forward, but once I do I find the travel is easy? I've been putting off working on a project for a week or so due to other commitments and I finally got into it tonight. I figured out two things that were bothering me and made major head way into the project. It usually happens that way. I let fear or frustration paralyze me too much.

I wish I could get the motivation to take on more challenges, but I don't. Maybe someday, sometime I will look back and see this was foolishness, but for now I feel I'm stuck in the quicksand of indecision and apathy. David wrote in Psalms of feeling this way and how God pulled him free and put him on steady ground. What makes me think that God will do the same for me when I can't take time out of my day and work on my relationship with Him? I feel pretty crappy right now and have for a few days. I know in a week or two it will be a passing memory fading like headlights on an empty highway. I know I'll bounce back and I'll be singing and dancing and praising and making all kinds of promises again about how I'm going to change my life for myself, my God and my family. And yet it will not happen. As I read the words I've written perhaps I've found a clue as to why, but will I truly learn from it.

I need a change in attitude AND a change in latitude. I am crazy, but I feel I'm still going insane.